When you lose someone you've loved for many years you go through a lot of changes. That happened to me a while back. I'll be the first to admit that I didn't handle it very well at first. There are myriad emotions that fill you: depresion, denial, anger, etc. Psychologists like Kubler-Ross and Bowlby have spent lifetimes categorizing and describing the stages of grief, but understanding the "science" of it doesn't make it any easier. It was at the height of my anger stage that the greatest revelation came to me. While going through some of her things I noticed a picture sticking out of a stack of books-- a picture of me stuck in her Bible, right smack dab in the center of the Book of Job. It didn't take me long to realize that, first, some people have it much worse than me. And, second, that my life as I knew might be over, but with a little faith I could one day have something even greater.

So...where am I today? I've embarked on a new carreer, in a new section of the country, with a new outlook on life. I'm one of the few 40+ year-old medical students in the country. I'm not the oldest by far, but I'm older than the average. Yet, soon I'll be a doctor-- something I never thought would have happened. It's a bit of a struggle sometimes because every spare moment is spent studying for one thing or another. You tend to eat standing up, do all your shopping online, and pray while driving-- just to make sure that you have the time to do everything you need to in one day:)

My life has made a 180 degree turn in the last five years, and I still have no idea where I'll really end up. I'm not interested in lots of money, big houses, or nice cars. I just want to spend the rest of my life helping to make other people's lives a little bit better. Yet, it would be nice to sit down at the end of the day and talk to someone about some topic other than medicine. I look forward to that.