I was recently asked by someone I very much respect: "Mark, for what reasons are you looking for a wife?" I responded: "Its not that I won't have a future without a partner, as I trust God has great things in store for me in ministry, but He did design us for community! And, without her - I don't believe life will be as full! Without her and without our children (Lord willing), I fear I will miss out on being truly known."
There it is... pretty straightforward. Some sort of mix of compatability and compelling attraction in these five areas: spiritual, intellectual, physical, communication as well as emotional, are what I'm hoping and praying for.
As far as I go, I have pretty diverse interests, which include: fine dining with an OCCASIONAL glass of wine (Red for me please) and RARELY even accompanied by a cigar, comedy and humor, interpersonal communication, theoretical discussions about philosophy, worldview, and their effect on theological formation; hiking, camping, weightlifting, running, martial arts, swimming, hot-tubbing, billards, bowling, poker (Omaha/Texas Hold 'Em), boating, jet skiing, singing, vocal music, concerts, writing prose, reading poetry, reflecting on scripture, art, sculpture, scratchboard, photography, interior decorating, fine furniture, helping others, reaching out to others, serving others, praying for others, preaching/teaching, counseling, ministry, and most of all love that is kind, secure, passionate, intense yet still gentle, are all what I crave and enjoy! Why? Its all about experiences baby!
Now unfortunately, I do have to admit that I am somewhat clueless and non-detail oriented when it comes to reading maps, directions, names, who's who in social settings, etc... but in areas of interests I'm very particular... the dichotomy is actually quite frustrating :)! Hey maybe that's why I want to be a professor :)!
If I could describe the relationship and parnter I pray for, I would say that our relationship is exemplified by: mutual exchange, optimism, growth, encouragement, intimacy, and understanding. For the future love of my life, I pray that she is: strong - not afraid to stand up for what is right, and stand up to me when I am wrong :)! BTW, I'm not really into what many might call ordained roles in marriage, granted both husbands and wives have spiritual roles, but as it pertains to whose job it is to do the dishes, the Bible is not too clear on those things. Hey argue with me if you want, but before you do - think about what I just said... if you're a lady, the expectations that egotistical males often push on their wives and even create erroneous theology to justify their position, just got a lot lighter! Marriage is and ought to be egalitarian - the couple represent God by being unified as a couple... hmmm: that sounds strikingly similar to a Biblical mandate given to the Church in Eph.:)! Wow, I just rambled there a bit, didn't I?
Anyway, I hope her to be an effective communicator (one of the core building blocks of a great relationship), contemplative/introspective, fun and lively (not prudish sanitized Christian subculture fun either - I'm hoping that she might even enjoy a cigar with me on a camping trip - what's the harm, and fun like I don't mind laughing at stupid movies- fun), intensely passionate (not afraid to share or express herself with me), spiritual, uniquely wise, and someone who freely gives of herself to those whom she loves.
Yeah, long list... in the end, it comes down to relationship. None of us measure up to ideals, especially ones that others place on us... rather, its about relating, what does the other person bring out in you? I truly believe the right person as your partner will compel you on to greatness... what is greatness? Being more Christ like. And, you'll do the likewise for him or her as well!